This is important to remember. . I used to be a productivity nut until I realised all of that activity was about distracting myself from the real me. Now I accomplish what I accomplish and it's all good no matter the progress or lack of it. My recent launching here had me knee-jerking back into the busy bee mindset, but I caught myself before I fell down that abyss again.
I am crying right now. I really needed this, because I've been struggling with feeling bad about myself lately. I feel like I'm trying to juggle too many balls and I can't keep any of them in the air for any real length of time. Between the various administrative tasks that come with being an adult, working, growing as a parent, being a good partner, spending time with friends, keeping the house clean, writing, exercising, spending time with my dogs, and simply relaxing to recover from all the energy I'm using...there's just not enough time to fit everything in, let alone to do everything well. I have to remind myself I can't be perfect in all aspects of my life, and that's not a failing on my part. I'm only human, and I am enough.
Cali, this is so beautiful, thank you for sharing it. First, I wish deep healing for you - and I think this insight is deep healing in action (but it will be good if the physical strength returns too!).
As I was reading, I found myself thinking back to my senior year in high school. I was fatigued the entire volleyball season (most of first semester). They chalked it up to "mono" though I wasn't on any medicine and I don't even think I was tested. They told me to rest, so i went to school half days, alternating days, because that allowed me to still play volleyball (you couldn't practice or play matches if you weren't in school at least a 1/2 day). I haven't thought of it in many years, but I have been intrigued that as I have tried to write more and thought about making my life as a creative, I have struggled mightily with fear (that is debilitating, though I haven't used that word, but it certainly is taking a lot of my time and energy to be with). I had not tied it to self worth but I feel like there is a strong tie there. I am going to journal and meditate with this too.
Thank you for sharing. My deepest bow of appreciation along with prayers for your health and energy.
This is important to remember. . I used to be a productivity nut until I realised all of that activity was about distracting myself from the real me. Now I accomplish what I accomplish and it's all good no matter the progress or lack of it. My recent launching here had me knee-jerking back into the busy bee mindset, but I caught myself before I fell down that abyss again.
I am crying right now. I really needed this, because I've been struggling with feeling bad about myself lately. I feel like I'm trying to juggle too many balls and I can't keep any of them in the air for any real length of time. Between the various administrative tasks that come with being an adult, working, growing as a parent, being a good partner, spending time with friends, keeping the house clean, writing, exercising, spending time with my dogs, and simply relaxing to recover from all the energy I'm using...there's just not enough time to fit everything in, let alone to do everything well. I have to remind myself I can't be perfect in all aspects of my life, and that's not a failing on my part. I'm only human, and I am enough.
"I am still the truly fabulous Cali Bird!" - That you are. I love the idea of the treasure tower.
Cali, this is so beautiful, thank you for sharing it. First, I wish deep healing for you - and I think this insight is deep healing in action (but it will be good if the physical strength returns too!).
As I was reading, I found myself thinking back to my senior year in high school. I was fatigued the entire volleyball season (most of first semester). They chalked it up to "mono" though I wasn't on any medicine and I don't even think I was tested. They told me to rest, so i went to school half days, alternating days, because that allowed me to still play volleyball (you couldn't practice or play matches if you weren't in school at least a 1/2 day). I haven't thought of it in many years, but I have been intrigued that as I have tried to write more and thought about making my life as a creative, I have struggled mightily with fear (that is debilitating, though I haven't used that word, but it certainly is taking a lot of my time and energy to be with). I had not tied it to self worth but I feel like there is a strong tie there. I am going to journal and meditate with this too.
Thank you for sharing. My deepest bow of appreciation along with prayers for your health and energy.
I study Buddhism, too. It's quite helpful.