Am I? Not as bad as I used to be! Many years ago I found it really helpful to have a "public policy" that No is my default — nothing personal. Then I'd privately give myself time to consider it thoughtfully. It is doable, people! And others do understand even if they may be disappointed in the moment.
What an important reminder! The need to please others wins out far too often for me. I like the idea of pausing before responding. I also practice saying no to hypothetical situations in my head, so that when they occur, I am prepared and sound natural.
What a significant reminder. I have such a hard time - the people pleaser in me wins far too often. I even practice saying no in my mind; so that it will sound more natural.
This is such an important topic. I found that when I had a book contract, it gave me the push I needed to be protective of my writing time. But when I'm "just" working on something, I go back to saying yes too often. I'm going to follow your tips going forward!
Such a valuable post - thanks, Cali! Have saved it for when I need to remind myself (which is often!) that 'No' actually IS a full and acceptable reply to things!
The idea of not including a reason in my “no” is...revolutionary! Not sure why I am compelled to justify declining.
Great tips! I’m definitely working on saying no more frequently. Also, working on not feeling guilty when I say no.
Am I? Not as bad as I used to be! Many years ago I found it really helpful to have a "public policy" that No is my default — nothing personal. Then I'd privately give myself time to consider it thoughtfully. It is doable, people! And others do understand even if they may be disappointed in the moment.
What an important reminder! The need to please others wins out far too often for me. I like the idea of pausing before responding. I also practice saying no to hypothetical situations in my head, so that when they occur, I am prepared and sound natural.
What a significant reminder. I have such a hard time - the people pleaser in me wins far too often. I even practice saying no in my mind; so that it will sound more natural.
This is such an important topic. I found that when I had a book contract, it gave me the push I needed to be protective of my writing time. But when I'm "just" working on something, I go back to saying yes too often. I'm going to follow your tips going forward!
Such a valuable post - thanks, Cali! Have saved it for when I need to remind myself (which is often!) that 'No' actually IS a full and acceptable reply to things!
Good tips. You are right, in order to get to where you want to be in life you have to take control of it and not let everyone use up all your time.