Be At Peace With Yourself

A Christmas message from Granny Oak

Saturday was one of those beautiful winter days. It was a clear blue sky with a little warmth in the direct sun.

I was exhausted from the day before. I’d been in London, at an art exhibition at Tate Britain, when I had an energy dip. I felt like I needed to lay down and have a snooze. This wasn’t possible in a public place so I found a comfy looking leather chair and sat there for over an hour while my body recovered.

Thankfully I was then able to take the beautiful thirty minute walk along the River Thames and meet my friends for a Christmas gathering. I used to live in that area and once considered it to be my patch.

Me and my body made it through, but on Saturday we were exhausted. A sofa day was planned and I did my annual viewing of my favourite Christmas film, It’s A Wonderful Life. But before that, even though I was tired, I wanted to go for a short walk and enjoy the beautiful sunshine.

I decided to visit Granny Oak, my favourite oak tree.

I hopped into my car and drove to the local park. It was glorious to walk in the sunshine and I visited a couple of other trees before walking a short loop down to where Granny Oak is situated.

It unnerves me when I run out of energy, even though this recent dip had been preceded by two extremely long and busy days. A few years ago, long covid would have prevented me from doing anything like that level of activity. I’ve come a long way.

I leaned against Granny Oak, wondering if I would receive a message to share with you this Christmas.

Immediately I heard the word: Rest.

Rest, said Granny Oak.

Implicit in this was the instruction not to go home and write about it.

I shrugged. That’s okay. Not all of my Granny Oak visits are for public consumption. I really did need to rest and let my body recover.

I stayed a few more minutes, enjoying the feel of her bark against my hands as I leaned against her.

I’ve been frustrated recently because I don’t feel that I’m doing enough writing. I get jealous when I look at the output of my favourite authors, knowing that they spend more hours in their writing chair than I do. I’ve reached the most important crunch point in the novel draft that I’m working on and I wish I could spend more time with it. But I seem to have a lot of family commitments, particularly with my mother, and there is an endless stream of admin to complete for my husband.

I had wondered whether I could do a little work on that Saturday but my body was depleted and Granny Oak’s instructions were firm. Rest. I knew she was right.

Eventually I bade her farewell and started walking back towards my car.

A few paces along the path I heard another message:

Be at peace with yourself.

Had Granny Oak tuned into my thoughts when I was berating myself for not being the writer I wanted to be?

Be at peace with yourself.

What does this mean to me?

It means to accept where I’m at and celebrate it. 2025 has been a fantastic year. I’ve had fun and made glorious strides forward on all fronts. I’m proud of my achievements.

It means to find the positives in my current challenges. Yes, it would be good to spend more time writing. However, I only started looking at this draft of my second Countess novel in late September and now I’ve reached the last few chapters. That’s pretty good progress and I’ve enjoyed it.

It means to acknowledge what is difficult right now. In terms of supporting my mother’s health and her endless hospital appointments, and coping with my husband’s brain injury and the endless admin – it feels like the theme of the last few months is “it never fucking stops.” Yet still I have made progress with my writing.

Yes, I could be a writer who writes for hours every day. But I’m not. I’m me. And this is where I am right now.

Be at peace with yourself.

I smiled to myself when this message arrived because I immediately knew it would be my Christmas newsletter. Today I have more energy and I am able to sit down and write it.

What does it mean to you?

Where are you struggling? Where are you berating yourself? Where are you wishing for different circumstances?

Can you meet yourself right where you are, with kindness and gentleness? Is there one thing you can do, or think, that would help?

Praise yourself for what you have achieved, irrespective of any frustrations or shortcomings. Here we are at this seismic point in human history, doing the best we can.

Be at peace with yourself.

Thank you for being part of the Gentle Creative community and for supporting me this year. I hope you have a wonderful Christmas.

I’ll be back at the end of the month for my regular GC Insider article.

Plodding gently

Cali x

Photo by Jonathan Meyer on Unsplash

Here is a photo of Granny Oak, resplendent against the blue winter sky. She has finally lost her leaves.