Earlier this year, I had to stay away from Twitter for a while. Every time I looked there was a writer winning a prize or parading their new book, which was published with a big named publisher, or sharing a review of their book from a well-known newspaper.
Everybody looked so capable.
Everyone was having success.
Everyone was doing better than me.
Did this mean my writing was crap? Will I ever get “discovered”? Are they better writers than me?
Shall I just stick my head under the pillow and stay in bed until the end of time because I’ll never have what they have, so why bother?!
The most important thing to remember
When we compare ourselves to others, we tend to compare the worst of ourselves to the best of someone else.
Success is relative. Just because they’re published with Simon & Schuster doesn’t mean they’re making any money.
You have no idea what is really going on in their life. At the end of last year there were two writers who I was absolutely in awe of in terms of their productivity. They both publish more than one book a year and have other business interests to do with writing.
On the face of it they seem “successful” and I’m always amazed by the whirlwind of activity that they consistently undertake. But they have both posted this year that their health has severely suffered because of the amount of work they do and that they have to find more balance or they will be in serious trouble.
Do you need to improve?
Perhaps the writers you envy are better than you. But you can improve.
Many years ago, when I was a music student there were four flute players in my year. Even though I was good, I was the underdog. The others were better than me. I used to think it was about talent; they had more God given capabilities than me.
But as I look back with adult eyes, and knowing what I now know about the creative process – they practised more than me. They would spend two to three hours a day in the practice rooms whereas I only did an hour. In fact, there were times I would be passing the music block, on the way to the Student Union to get drunk, scornfully look in and think, “There’s Janice, dutifully in the practice room when she could be out having fun.”
There was a reason they were better than me and the solution was fully in my control!
The only race you should be in is with yourself
You are only answerable to yourself. You can’t live someone else’s life and you can’t write like them. You can only write like you.
Are you improving?
Are you consistent?
Are you doing the very best you can with your writing within your current set of circumstances?
Are you being true to yourself?
If the answer to any of those questions is No, then what could you do differently? What do you need to learn or practice that you’ve been putting off?
Are there small tweaks you could make to your writing practice that could make a difference?
Do you need an accountability buddy to make sure that you do them?
You may need to remove yourself from the source of envy
When my writing envy was at its peak, I had to stop looking at Twitter. My fatigue was very bad at the time and it wasn’t possible for me to work at my previous pace.
My energy has improved a lot since then and at the moment I’m enjoying Twitter. However, I tend to scroll straight past the bragging posts and find something more interesting.
Social media scrolling rather than getting on with your writing is a form of resistance. Your inner gremlin will attack you in your most vulnerable way. If it’s envy, then see it for what it is and use this as impetus to get back to work.
Stay in your lane, put your blinkers on and write the very best that you can.
You never know, in the future, it might be your achievements inducing writing envy in others.
Photo by Aarón Blanco Tejedor on Unsplash
Plodding gently
Cali xx
P.S. I’m always looking to grow my audience for Gentle Creative. If you found this article useful, please share it. It might be just the thing that a frustrated writer needs to read.
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Thank you for this. I do feel the lesser when I read such great work like yours and Jeff Goins. But I've had people really appreciate my writing, many times, for a weekly newsletter they couldn't wait to receive and share with others. So, I know I can produce good work. Just need the practice. And I've been using 750words.com for years, which is great 'morning writing' or personal blather, but writing in public is the real work, the real practice. I'll get on it. Thanks.
All excellent points!! I find my rears its ugly head when I am not working on my writing enough (or what I would like to be) because other things have gotten in the way. If I take action and focus on me, focus on my own journey, then I find it goes away. I remember this time when I was cycling home once, and someone sped past me, and I thought - well who knows where they started from, and who knows where they will be stopping. I can't compare myself to a moment of someone else's journey when there's no way to know compare their beginnings and ends and whatnot. I'm not sure that made sense... But I apply that to writing too when I can. Always a journey...