Scientific Proof That Kind Self-Talk Makes A Huge Difference

How two tubs of rice taught me a profound lesson on self-love. You must read this.

I always used to curse my body for letting me down.

When I was a twenty-one year old music student, desperate to do a brilliant flute recital and “show them” that I was good enough, I suffered with fatigue. I couldn’t practice as much as I wanted. My performance was mediocre and I was heartbroken.

When I started writing, I got repetitive strain injury from using the computer too much. Once again, my body seemed to be thwarting my heart-felt creative dreams.

When I started coaching and was a speaker at the Mind Body Soul show at London Olympia, my back went into spasm the day before. I spent the whole weekend hobbling around on a walking stick cursing my back for trying to ruin my big moment.

When I started this Substack and initially was doing well, my body crashed into long-covid chronic fatigue.

My best friend, who has been through hip surgery, once recounted how she praises her body when it recovers from injury or has done something challenging. She asked me whether I did the same.

I looked at her blankly. I had never praised my body, only cursed it.

This last bout of fatigue has given me the opportunity to change that. I have finally learnt to talk to myself in a kind, encouraging way. Now, when I’m having a tired day or am doing something which is physically challenging, I pat my thighs and say to myself, “Thank you, body. We can do this. You’re doing so well.”

It turns out there is scientific proof that kind, loving self-talk does make a difference

I recently read Miranda Hart’s memoir, I Haven’t Been Entirely Honest With You, where she talks about her recovery from years of fatigue caused by Lyme disease.

She wrote about an experiment by Dr Maseru Emoto where he had two bowls of cooked rice. Over the course of a few days, he talked to one of them in a loving, gentle way, and the other in an unkind, toxic way. He was shocked that the one which received the nasty talk developed horrible mould spores. The other bowl didn’t.

Miranda tried this experiment with bulbs. She loves bluebells and when she was given some bulbs, she picked one of them and started talking nastily to it. She continued the hateful talk as the bulbs grew in her garden. The one to which she had spoken negatively didn’t thrive as much as the others. It was weedier and didn’t bloom as well.

In the book she spoke about how powerful it was to see this with her own eyes.

So I decided to try it myself

One night, after dinner, I took some left-over cooked rice and split it between two small tupperware containers. I placed a green sticky dot on the lid of one of them and a red dot on the other. I put them in a cool utility room in my house. Every day I picked them up and talked to them.

I was horrible to the one with the red dot.

“You’re a worthless c*nt. You’ll never amount to anything,” I growled at it. “You’re hopeless. I despair of you. What will become of you? You might as well not bother.”

Two years ago, these were the sentiments that went through my head as soon as I woke up in the morning. I’m sure you too have horrible phrases that you say to yourself.

I was lovely to the one with the green dot.

“Hello, my little snookums,” I cooed at it. “You’re so lovely. You’re so strong. You’re going to cope with anything. You’re amazing. I love you.”

For the first few days not much happened. Both pots looked the same and I was disappointed that the experiment didn’t seem to be working. I forgot about them for five days.

However, the next time I looked, the one with the red dot was much yellower and was starting to grow mouldy fur.

I was shocked. It was working. At this point they were two weeks old.

This gave me new motivation to talk to them every day.

Here they are a week later.

Here they are at four weeks.

Same rice.

Same conditions.

Same amount of time being talked to.

The only difference was the way that I talked to them. One hateful and horrible, the other loving and encouraging.

By now I was telling friends about the experiment, whipping out my phone and showing them the pictures.

Here is the most recent picture. It’s been six weeks. There is still no mould on the one with the green dot.

Our words and thoughts can change the environment

Yes, our words and thoughts can change the environment. How powerful is that? Imagine what would happen if we put more love into the world!

If these unkind sentiments are making a couple of spoonfuls of rice go mouldy, just think what they are doing to you, when you continually berate yourself for how useless you are.

Similarly, kind and loving words helped the other pot of rice to survive difficult conditions. Imagine how you could thrive with kinder thoughts.

Plodding gently (and kindly)

Cali x

P.S. I plan to repeat the experiment, but this time I won’t talk aloud. I will just think thoughts and send either hateful or loving vibes to the rice. I will report back in a few weeks.

P.P.S. Please share this article. Everybody needs to understand this. Thank you.

Photo at the top of this article by Pille R. Priske on Unsplash