Do You Like The Idea Of Chronic Play?

It's a lot more fun than chronic worry

A year ago, I had a conversation with a healer who introduced me to the concept of chronic play.

Most of my life has been consumed by chronic worry. All of my school reports noted that I was very conscientious. I’ve always worked hard at whatever I set my mind too, and I’ve always been a worrier.

Sometimes the worry is an asset – in my role as a software tester I would think of scenarios that nobody else came up with and made sure that our applications would withstand such an event. But the worry also cost me, because I worried about issues that might happen down the line. Meanwhile, my colleagues, blissfully unaware, focussed their attention on current tasks and problems.

My worries increased as peri-menopause and menopause played havoc with my anxiety levels. My sleep also became disrupted around this time so that I would then worry about the logistics of commuting and business travel.

Eventually I burnt out mentally and took a break from work. Then I got covid and long-covid symptoms. My anxiety continued to worsen.  Chronic fatigue set in and I couldn’t live freely. I worried about whether I’d have the energy for a social event later in the day or the next day, or whether I’d be okay on the day my mother needed my support for a hospital visit.

Being in a state of constant fight-flight eventually damages the body. Excess cortisol, the body’s primary stress hormone, can cause heart problems, weight gain, digestive problems, more anxiety, depression and for me, chronic fatigue.

I’d never heard of chronic play

Evidence has shown that having fun, finding joy and participating in nurturing relationships help to bring down stress. But I’d never heard of this described as chronic play before, or that chronic play could be a lifestyle choice!

Now, a year after that conversation, I think I am finally getting the hang of it. I actively make time to sit down and enjoy a good film, or kick back and read a magazine or meet a friend for coffee.

In the past, I knew such activities were a good idea, but I never made them a priority. Last month I wrote about our lives metaphorically having a light and dark horse, the dark horse being our shadow side. (You can read the article here). I realised then that my dark horse is the side of me that wants to have fun, that wants to play and it doesn’t want to be denied this anymore!

In The Artist’s Way, Julia Cameron calls this an artist date. Something fun, which doesn’t have to be time-consuming or expensive, that refills your creative well. There were times when I did a weekly artist date, but mostly it was the activity that went by the wayside. Then I would end up feeling burnt out and realise how important it was.

This is what I wished I had realised when I was relentlessly pushing myself:

• Relaxing time is as important for your body. If you have enough play and relaxation, in the time you can work, you’ll be more productive.

• It was a mistake to fill all the gaps in my schedule with “doing stuff”.

• My relentless pushing has severely damaged my health.

• I could have been having fun as well as getting stuff done.

What if you’ve forgotten how to play?

Back then, if you’d have asked me what I do for fun, I’d have looked up at you with tired, hollowed out eyes and wouldn’t have had an answer. Sometimes we get so involved with the business of adulting that we forget how to play.

If that’s you right now, think back to what you used to love as a child. Was it riding horses, doing jigsaws, climbing trees, making up stories, feeding the ducks, going to a theme park or taking a pedal-boat out on the local boating lake?

Could you do that activity now? Or something that is reminiscent of it?

Again, this doesn’t have to take a lot of time or money but it can contribute to the most wonderful chronic play!

Ways to have chronic play when you have a busy schedule

I’m aware that I am sitting here, no longer working a day job, espousing the benefits (and necessity) of play. But how can you make time for that when you’re working long hours, taking care of your family and it’s already difficult to make time to write? Here are a few suggestions:

• Put some of your favourite music on in the kitchen and have a quick disco boogey while you’re waiting for the kettle to boil.

• Take ten minutes to really savour a cup of tea or a coffee. Don’t just ‘sip and go’

• If you’ve got some boring work tasks to do like filing emails or doing your accounts – make it into a game. See how much you can get done in twenty minutes. Again, put some pumped up music on or something to which you love to sing along.

• If you work in a town or city, take a few minutes of your lunch break to visit a favourite shop. Twenty years ago I worked near Selfridges in London and I used to love looking at their magazine department. It had loads of foreign titles and trendy mags that you couldn’t get anywhere else. Ten minutes of looking at the displays and flicking through them replenished my soul.

• Have mini-adventures. It might not be possible to take a lot of time off but maybe a day or half-day trip to somewhere you’ve always wanted to visit.

• Put your phone down. Did you know that 30 minutes of scrolling a day (easily done) amounts to 183 hours a year or twenty work days?!! Imagine if you went and did something fun with that thirty minutes instead.

• Go to a place that makes you feel good. When I lived in London I used to love wandering along the River Thames near Westminster and the Southbank. Now I visit my favourite tree in local park. Buildings can also make you feel good. That might be a lofty cathedral or your favourite store. I love Waterstones, the bookshop, on Piccadilly.

• Get up and move. Just a couple of minutes of swishing your arms around, marching on the spot or any other type of dance move that takes your fancy can lighten your mood and make your body happy.

• Go to your favourite café with a good book and read for half an hour.

• Schedule a couple of hours of play and honour that commitment, just as you would any other appointment.

As I write this list, I notice that a lot of the suggestions involve movement, none of them say chain yourself to a small screen and many of them take place away from your home or place of work.

Yes, chronic play is indulgent

Isn’t that wonderful?! Years ago, I dismissed that indulgence but if I’d embraced it, I might be in a better position now.

Chronic play is really about nourishing the soul. Ask your soul what it would like to do. When I’ve journaled about this, the answer is anything from “go and buy a nice new bra” to “tidy the flower beds and plant something pretty” to “see a ballet” to “make and enjoy spice parsnip soup” or “go for a walk in the trees”. Imagine how life could be if your soul was regularly nourished.

According to Websters dictionary, chronic means “continuing or occurring again and again for a long time”. Usually, the context for something chronic is negative, but what a lovely thought for it to be positive and fun.

You can watch the session with the healer, Jerome Braggs, that I mentioned in the article in the video below. It was part of a follow-up call from a course I did about using self-love to heal the body. My question was that I had started doing all these loving practices and although my attitude to myself was so much better, my symptoms had got worse.

This was his answer. It contains really useful information about the three main reasons we get fatigue, the need for boundaries and learning to trust that life loves us. I found it really useful to watch it again as I prepared this article.

Plod gently, and playfully

Cali x

If you found this article useful, please share it. It might be the perfect answer to someone else’s stress.

Now I’d love to hear from you

How do you play? What nourishes your soul? How do you fit play into a busy schedule?